sasquatch

i'm sure there are all kinds of sentiments for girls regarding foot size. some wish their tiny feet were more substantial and some wish their gigantic feet were more dainty. i just wish mine were the same size as one another. the left is a whole half size larger than the right, which gives me a good range to fiddle with when purchasing shoes, but always leaves me with one fitting right and the other not so much. the pro to the general size of my feet, though, is that i have the option of also wearing men's shoes. which is killer because when i'm not wearing crazy stilt-like heels, my go-to shoes are vans (preferably some sort of black murdered-out combo). i have yet to find a good pair of brogues that i like but theeeeeeese men's pradas i could definitely go for. could being the operative word here, meaning if i actually could afford to.
how many teeth would i have to knock out for a shoe fairy to deliver these under my pillow?