CONFUSION

I'm pretty sure I'm losing my fashion "edge" because my brain just can't wrap itself around this poncho/cape/bolero/coat/jacket thing I saw on eBay. In fact, it's making my brain want to punch itself. Like literally grow two arms and knock itself out. Twice.
I'm going to forgive this person though, because judging by the hands and neck she is old and possibly senile. Plus she's wearing slacks, which coupled with the fact that she (wisely) hid her face leads me to believe she is an otherwise respectable member of society. I imagine it was a Christmas gift from her son, below, the fur trapper, who also likes to hook his girlfriend and stepdaughter up with warmer weather gear for their annual Cabo spring breaks. He takes his craft seriously.
His mother doesn't.

*EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that the woman in the photo is actually a man. Which can only mean one thing...IT'S THE FUR TRAPPER. He's posing as his "elderly mother" to garner a sympathy purchase for his crazy jacket! Sneaky sneaky. You almost got away with it.

WHEN I GROW UP...

Article on Natalie Massanet from The Wall Street Journal magazine
Forget being a doctor. My new career goal is to be a farmer in Vietnam so that I, too, can one day afford to shop on Net-a-Porter. I may end up tight on social time, but you can be damn sure I'll be the chicest one out there harvesting my rice paddies. Aim high kids!

*note to self: get caught up on global economics STAT.

CSN

I'm hoping to move again into a more semi-permanent situation early next year (more on that later) so I've been daydreaming about furniture and interiors. By no means am I an "interior" person. Wait, what would the word be for that? Like how people who are into food are foodies and women who are into fashion are fashionistas, and let's not forget Maxxanistas. So what would you call people who are super into interior design? Well whatever it is, I am not one. I just like what I like. I'm pretty generic.

So amidst my furniture daydreaming and creation of the unattainable wishlist, I stumbled on All Modern Furniture's site. It's one of the 200+ sites under CSN Stores that has everything from wardrobes to lighting to modern kitchen and living room pieces. They have all the big brands and a huge selection. These are a few of the things I'd buy if I had imaginary money leftover after buying all the shoes from my wishlist.

Kartell Pop Sofa - all I've ever wanted is a Chesterfield, but this looks so comfy and those arms!
Cocoon Fires hanging fireplace - you can put this anywhere because you don't need a chimney!
Knoll Platner dining table - I want a round table so everyone can see each other.
Knoll Platner armchair - too matchy matchy to do with the table, but good for the living room.
Heller Studio 65 kiss sofa - no reason. Just wheeeeeeee!
So much better than Ikea.

But then what about Swedish Meatballs?

I'm hungry.

ADD THESE TO THE LIST

Acne.
Because sometimes your heel just feels stifled.


YSL
These are a must. If only because they make it look like you're walking really fast. Whoosh~


Celine
An update to the metal heel.
The flattened back is what got my attention. The snakeskin is what will get my money.


I bet you my man won't go for these. But I'll double down on the fact that I won't care.

THRASHER x ACYCLE

One of the fruitless hunts that I may have to finally give up on. Boo.

NYFW

SO ON TIME RIGHT?? I KNOW!!

I went on a business trip to San Francisco that absolutely wrecked me after my coworkers and I thought it'd be a stellar idea to walk from Haight/Ashbury back to Union Square with completely inappropriate footwear and shopping bags up hill, downhill, then uphill, and downhill like 17,000 times on repeat. All on the first day mind you. The next two days were limptastic with fully flared shin splints and the sweatiest armpits but coldest face from all the walking in the icy wind. Three exhausting days and a fat cold sore later I was back home, only to jump back into work and get not nearly enough sleep. I'm just now starting to pull out of zombie mode and have found a moment to finally post my recap of NYFW. I almost didn't because when I feel super behind I usually just hit the reset button and jump forward to whatever's current instead of even attempting to get caught up. Buuuut I knew you were dying to see what I had to say cause, you know, I'm totally important and shit. HA!

Acne
Isn't it obvious? ALL RED, yes. Plus you know my preference of wearing clothes I could potentially sleep in - very key for narcoleptics like me. No really. But those glasses - what's going on here? I don't think there's one fashionable person who's ever been able to pull off Matrix glasses. Not one. Ever.

Jeremy Laing
I'm going to admit I didn't know much about him until I saw the amazing bubble sweater, but I do love me some Laing now! Check out that weird sweater thing! Are you as confused by it as I am? It's love. Love makes no sense.
Jeremy Scott
Not usually a fan, but for some reason I always love his weirdo leather pieces. Like the cropped biker jacket from his Flintstones collection that had the jagged-cut bottom hem. Then there's this skirt, which is amazing but probably so expensive. So expensive, in fact, that you shouldn't even start dreaming about it and just go to your local fetish shop as I'm sure there will be something similarly streetwalker-ish there. Streetwalker is my dad's word for WHORE. And this guy...is it just me or does he look way self-conscious?

Preen
Can someone please tell me WTH is going on with the fake bangs? I'm thinking runway quality hairstyles are supposed to look convincing. That's clearly not what's going on here. Except for Abbey, who is looking quite boss with her new white hair. Did you notice her rogue toe though? I did. Those two dresses saved the day.

Proenza Schouler
TEXTURE! TEXTURE! TEXTURE!

Rodarte
Everything. I want everything. Two things I have a major weakness for. Wood and those blue/white porcelain vase prints. Dear Laura and Kate, thank you for combining the two and bringing joy to my eyes. Oh and Kate, I love you for wearing New Balances. ps. I have those. YAY! Shoe twins, high five!

TSE
Lately all I want are slouchy, comfy cardigans and anything with leather or leather trims. Oh hi, look it's everything I ever wanted! With bonus Wonderwoman cuffs. I can be the Cashmere Superhero, fighting the war against itchy wools and acrylic blends.

Alexander Wang
As trendy as the brand has become I've loved every collection because he makes such beautiful, clean, wearable things. Until now. You're no longer in the circle of trust, Alex. Unless you give me these awesome shoes. Then we'll call it even.

FNO LA 3.1 PL

Cryptic title huh? It's my revenge on all of you who ROFL, LMFAO, and IDK, IRL to me. I can't hang with all these acronyms. ROFL? Right Out of Left Field? Oh wait, that's ROLF...seeee?? Well I guess mine isn't all that difficult to decipher considering all the tweeting and blogging and general PR buzz that went on leading up to Fashion's Night Out. I attended the 3.1 Phillip Lim event at his Los Angeles boutique on Friday night to support my friend, artist James Jean. James was commissioned to do portraits of 20 of Los Angeles' most buzzworthy wearing Lim's new collection.

The spike-lined walls look treacherous to navigate around, but they're actually not. Perhaps even good to rub your back against according to Bobby. Massage anyone?
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Look it's Huy! Hi Huy! Hi Oscar! Both were wearing Phillip Lim jackets that I wanted to steal.
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L: Devandra Banhart / R: Lily Aldridge
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L: Rachel Bilson / R: Samantha Traina
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Rashida Jones
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and my personal favorite: Selma Blair. Good thing my friend bought this one. I can go oogle it more at his house whenever I want.
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Hi bud.
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above images all via thehundreds

Weird eyes and sour faces. Oh look, there's Pixel Man.
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High-fives for everyone!
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Why hello. Remember my portrait? It's in James' latest Process Recess 3.
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Lulu.
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KARL BABY

(click image for super humongo view)
Dearest Karl,

I will gladly take Freja's fringed jacket since she won't be needing it anyway. Let's be honest, we all know she's a Johnny Cash head-to-toe black kind of gal. As far as the pants, well...I'm going to pass on the pants. After much consideration, I've decided the Minotaur look is just not for me.

Grosses Bises,

Jayne

NYFW SP11




Favorite looks from Mandy Coon.

READ BETWEEN THE LINES

Supreme Fall 2010

MA-CHE-TAY

A few weeks ago I was invited by SA Studios to the premier of Robert Rodriguez's new film, Machete, starring Danny Trejo. I'm a self-proclaimed hermit and I've said numerous times that I don't really go out, but I do make the rare exception for movies. This particular exception had Robert Rodriguez, guns, fighting, gore, and Danny Trejo all in one - how could I say no?
The entire cast (minus a certain hot mess) was there to present the film and Danny Trejo really does seem like the most genuine, sincere guy. He may play the hard-ass, villain roles well, but I hear he's the exact opposite in real life. Just goes to show, you can't judge a book by its cover.

Here he is goofing around with artist David Choe (who is so bizarre, but very nice in real life as well) in a video by SA Studios. The video covers David as he creates an original poster as a tribute to Danny and his new film, Machete.


Incidentally this is my favorite piece of David's that recently showed at the David Lazarides gallery. He has so many complex, chaotic, intricate, hyper-detailed pieces, but I love the simplicity of this one. I bet you you're smiling right now. See?

MORE FALL

via Zara lookbook

Clean black lines, oversized knits, solid muted colors, pointy kitten heels. Wait, hold on. Pointy heels maybe, kitten heels never. Have an idea for what will hopefully be a staple fall coat. DIY.

How frickin cute are the Zara kids? That little girl is almost as cute as my neice. Almost.

NEW LOOK

Zara fall lookbook via Carolinesmode

When I was in elementary school for some reason all I had was black or black/white clothes. My mother made the realization one day and was horrified that a child would be in black all the time, she said it was depressing. She very quickly got rid of everything black and only bought me colorful clothes from then on, which pretty much lasted until high school. I slowly started adding more black to my wardrobe since college and now I feel like mostly everything I reach for these days is black. I've come full circle.

I'm thinking I want to add a bit of color now that it's fall and the target color is red.

red boots, red tights, red pants.

HUNTINGTON LIBRARY


Spent a day at Huntington Library over the holiday weekend for our anniversary. Say hello to Pixel Man again! We're not the most sentimental couple, but it's nice to have quiet, private celebrations every once in a while. And don't blame him for the mullet, I won't let him cut his rat tail.

If you'd like to test the limits of your breast and buttock sweat glands, I suggest you wear a wool hat, leather shirt and wool shorts in 100 degree weather and walk around for five hours. You'll have them revved up in no time!